*~ Cherindipity Moments ~*

i wonder when i started on this journey
and began the endless search
the emptiness from whats missing
the helplessness from the torturous wait

i can't tell what i'm feeling
the answers i hope to find
wats meant to be will be
i believe one day i will know 

suddenly came to mi mind... i dun realli know wat im tryin to say even.. guess its explains itself.. the confusion im in.. 

yesterdae feng was telling mi how her frens wud ask her how she was when they read from her journal tat shes sad... 
i guess i was a little envious altho i was tryin to explain to her that not all frens do tat and her bf could be one that reads and keeps quiet abt it..

but its so hard to say.. sometimes a few words of concern makes a whole lot of difference.. so to whoever that might read this, if u arent someone that know how to express ur concerns for those u care abt, LEARN to drop them a few lines cos u dunno when it makes their day ..~~

isnt it cool!! cos its such a special day to await cos u onli get it once every 4 yrs!!
i remember mi sis telling mi when i was young how it muz be sad for those pple born on the 29th of Feb...

anywaes.. remember tat day i was tokkin to sp abt being in love... tokkin abt one-sided love and whether it was worth it sometimes.. 
i guess its aso a kind of happiness to be able to like someone enuff to wanna care for him/her and feel happy when he/she is happy.. of cos there are the painful sides of it.... 
but juz knowing you are able to love is a blessing~~ 
i went thru a tough period where i thot i may never haf the courage to care for someone again but thats not true! oh im so glad to realise tat!! ^-^

tat other time mi fren gave mi a vewi nice description of love: 

if to feel worried when i can't find you
if to feel jealous when you're with somebody else
if to feel joy when i see you happy......
and if to feel sad when i see ur tears....
if all these are considered as love....then i'm in love with you..
isnt it sweet? i realli wish tat someday someone could say this to me... *dReAmY DrEaMy* ^-^

oh man.. been workin too hard these days.. there seems to be endless projects and rehearsals!!! i have NO TIME for tv.. NO TIME for MORE SLEEP.. no time to even haf dinner todae.. :~(
next week will onli be worse and time flies.. mi fyp deadline and DS lab deadline are drawing SUPER NEAR~~ i wanna crash liao.... *sob*
but despite all tat work.. i still like to pick out some time to *BLEH* all the cooped up feelings in mi out into mi journal.. its always nice to let it all out. like giving a BIG *SIGH* -- which i think of it more as juz simply letting out alot of air at one go not cos ur stressed and unhappy but it juz feels REALLY comfy after doing it.. TRY IT urself!! ^-^
well.. its 12:45am now and im gonna START on some work before i head for bed.. heheee
nite nite to cherriko's journal *hugs*

do you wake up in the mornings, stare at urself in the mirror and actually wonder "who will i be today?" tat may sound a little extreme but i think i do tat.. mabbe not so directly at the mirror... it could be onli when i open mi closet wondering what i should be wearing. How a person dresses or chooses to dress says alot abt personality (what most pple would think).. but the way i look at it, its juz my way of expressing myself that day, or hope to at least...
i woke up at 4am this morning, havin trouble gettin back to sleep and ended up wondering if i knew what i was REALLY like, i mean really knowing myself...

i remembered taking that myers briggs personality test back in rgs... i was an INFP. Our teacher said that pple change over the yrs, so as to adapt to the surroundings and if we were to take the test again a few yrs later, we shouldnt be surprised if the results were different. I thought it was quite ridiculous then.. 

It wasnt that long after juz 4 yrs later when i got to take the test again.. this time, i was a I/E NFP.. hahaa~ how weird.. how did i manage to even out mi I-ntroverted self with tat of my E-xtrovert? i guess it was a part of me that developed to handle wat was needed of a student councellor... but its like having a double personality all of a sudden...

right now im confused what i really am like... i've think i muz haf gotten a whole collection of masks for all occasions. its funny.. cos juz last yr during exams i went wif ben to watch a show called "identity" abt this man who lived the lives of 10 different pple (so he thinks he does cos hes a little unstable mentally) and how the doctor was trying to help him "get rid" of 9 of the identities(which included a serial killer) so that he wud not be convicted of his crimes (due to that split personality crisis). 
Its so weird....
okie now im stuck.. no idea how im gonna conclude this weird thot.. hehee~ :P

Remembering that movie "Pay it forward" abt how a lil boy had the idea that if one person does one good thing for someone, that someone shud pass it forward to 3 other pple, and those 3 other pple shud in turn pass it forward to 3 other pple EACH.. and the chain continues.. at the end of the show, the lil boy dies.. but i believe he was happy cos his life being short had an impact on the pple around him.. alot of good was spreading around...
its all about having hope, having faith and being able to love...
i guess its a vewi happy thing juz to be able to see tat the pple u care for are happy...

oh no.. im feeling vewi sad now cos i juz learnt abt something vewi sad...
cannot continue writing for todae. :~(
hope tmr will be better.. for everyone.. for the ones i care abt.. for me too? :D

muz write this down man... how often do these kinda things happen?
dunno why todae juz decided to go check out mi long lost-access-to homepage (http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3262) -- muz haf updated it like 6 to 8 yrs ago then geocities merged wif yahoo and i lost mi acct.. *dUh* 

but anywaes... i went to check out mi guestbook and saw a msg left for mi 2 YEARS back!!! *omg*
aso dunno why i was in a typey mood so i decided to mail the person back and juz abt 7 hrs later i had a reply!! 
and now we're chatting on ICQ! isnt it ODD?? the weirdest coincidence is we're studyin in the same UNI and living in the same HALL!! lol~ its so fuNNy!!~ ^-^

hehee.. todae was sooooo nice! ;D
Chester tokked to moi outside LT oh!! altho we juz hi-bye frens but its so nice of him to ask mi how mi was~~~ altho nuttin sweet but it kinda warmed mi up immediately after i got out of that cold cold LT..
he told mi not to be too stwessed wif work.. else look so "green" liao.. dunno if tat "green-ness" was from tiredness or coldness or wat.. hehee but i was so terrible.. slept during lecture and he was sitting at quite a conspicuous place behind mi at LT20 ne...
aiya~~ hes so zhai~~~ wrappin up his fyp le ne... :P
another nice nice thing oh!! muz write oh!!!
i went for hall 1 production today wif mi hexis frens then went to sushi don to tabemasu~~ and guess wat!! there was bi bim bap (dak) hahaa!! but it looked different from tat korean show leh.. *sob* but still tasty *yUm yUm*
haPPi haPPi!! still got ne!! guess who mi saw at Victoria Theatre!!!!
mi IA idOl ye!!~ waah.. he lost weight ne.. so poor thing.. 
waahh he noticed mi hair oh!! and i hope i heard correctly!! (think he said i looked prettier ;D ) hahaa~~
wat a nice thing to conclude mi day!! 
hahaa! i hardworkin ne! come bac hall liao copied mi notes.. and did mi cover letter for CSIT application!! hehee~ wunder how tat wud go~~ :D
guai oh.. bed time liao le~~ -_-

I'm feeling realli stressed... kinda.. mabbe not totally.. knowing there are so many things on hand to do but i juz dunno how to handle them one by one... :P
Its alredi mid-february... there's FYP to rush, exams will be round the corner and job applications to fill in, and not forgetting a possibility of trying to go for masters after i grad.. 
How can i juggle so many things within 1.5 mths!!! omg~~~
its alredi 4 am here in singapore.. *sigh* 5 more hrs and i'll be in sch again! 
gotta see mi fyp sup to give an update.. hopefully he cud suggest smth intelligent for mi to do ... i realli need tat rite now...

a little off that busy life of mine...
huh.. i had the impulse to be really truly honest todae wif a fren but i realise or rather im afraid things will be different once the truth is said...
i felt bad when he said our conversations had gone "sour".. wunder what had gone wrong there... 
mi life has become far too confusing for me... kinda waitin to see the light at the end of this tunnel... *sob*

hmm.. i juz finished copying mi reprinted notes!! waahh tat took mi a long long time..
gotta drag mi feet outta bed and to sch tomorrow to do some studying ye~~ final sem in school and i'm still slacking ard.. omg!!!~ :(
i dunno if im lookin forward to working tho.. may be a pleasant change but im sure i will miss school life where its so flexible and kinda carefree too~~
the little excitements that add spices to uni life is definitely not to be forgotten... despite there are those super spicy ones that burn my tongue... but there are the sweet ones which makes mi smile juz thinkin abt them.. hehee~
okie time for bed.. niteys!~ ;D

heyo... im so ke lian... sick lo.. juz after vday~~~
juz wanna drop a few lines...
muz keep up wif mi journal writin... 
have been thinkin wat will happen if one day i lost all mi memory...
i hope i wud come back here to read mi thots and find miself again..
isnt it scary? O_o

sweet story.... (love is all around~~)

A few years ago, at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, 
all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line 
for the 100-yard dash.
At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a 
relish to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except
one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple
of times, and began to cry.
The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back.
Then they all turned around and went back......every one of them.
One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said,
"This will make it better." Then all nine linked arms and walked
together to the finish line.
Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several
minutes. People who were there are still telling the story.
Why?
Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is
more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is
helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our
course.

If you pass this on, we may be able to change our hearts as well as 
someone else's. 
"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle"
So, what you gonna do? pass it on or delete it...?