it still hurts.. deep... :(

dunno what came over me at work today.. every song i listened to reminded me of the past few months.. alot of heartache started to overwhelm me...
i ran and sat there in the toilet cubicle and started to cry...
i'm not sure why it feels so bad.. i thought about wenyong.. and knowing his birthday's drawing nearer just breaks my heart cos i'm not gonna be the one celebrating it with him.. not as i hoped to be for the past 7 months..
i just wanna know if he's okay.. and im really sorry things turned out this way. i know i tired him out cos i kept giving up on our relationship.. i know he must be better off now that i'm not around..
i've really been pushing this heartache away for the past 2 weeks and its coming back to haunt me now.. the more i try to be happy in front of others, the sadder i get when i'm alone.. i'm gonna have to face this pain now..
no, i'm not okay.. i dun mean to turn so weak but it's still hurting inside..