*~ Cherindipity Moments ~*

hehee back to office again on a monday morning...
was so tired yesterdae cos went to jc class "chalet" on saturday after tuition and stayed up all nite.. >_<"
was super worn out!!~ then came home in the morning onli to have to help mi uncle install all the stuff into his newly bought comp.. eck~ took mi all day!!
finally got to watch mi tv from 7 till 9pm.. and slept mi 2 days worth of sleep at 1030pm.. hehee~
this morning dad had to wake mi up or i wud haf forgotten abt work.. *oopsie*

mi went to suming's house again last friday.. had authentic korean kimchi and chicken curry wif rice! was really tasty ne! ^-^ Peter (min's tenant) cooked it with Han (newly intro-ed korean fren). the nite was nice and comfy~ peter, dong cheol and han were singing gospel songs wif han playing the guitar~ dong cheol played abit of his clarinet and helped peter and han to make sounds come out of that clarinet.. hehe!~ :D
mi cant remember how to play le.. last time i touched it was when i was in rgps band.. -_-"" thats like ermm.. 12 to 13 yrs ago???
one thing that peter asked got mi thinkin alot.. he asked if mi and min min quarrelled alot.. over what and how we usually talk it out.. i guess i cant realli remember why we argued.. or i do a little.. heh.. :P but we will always cry and hug each other then we're fine again :)
he aso asked mi if i got upset when minmin got attached.. but minmin said i was too busy to feel that jealousy.. i guess so.. since jc, to uni.. i admit i had very little time for her since we left sec school till uni days.. but it may haf been a good thing cos now i onli feel happy for her.. :) i saw wat cy does for her at her place.. and since ive been meetin minmin like twice a week now.. :P and of the twice i cud see cy at least once.. hmm.. not so much of jealousy that he's stealin mi bestfrens-get-together time but more happy sometimes.. 

i guess i made a turn on mi recovery journey and realised it didnt have to revolve so much around miself and mi sadness and mi problems.. now all that seems oddly unmeaningful :P i'm feeling this kind of happiness that i cant realli describe.. mabbe cos im getting older too im juz more satisfied wif what goes on around mi.. :)
im realli thankful tho abt everything and that mi and minmin managed to finish singing that rgs song...
"we have shared our morning days
and gone through all rainy nights
even in the darkest of nights
stars still light up our way

tomorrow is a beautiful dream
a dream that will be fufilled
cross the bridge of rainbow
in search of the gold

for here we stand (for here we stand...)
our dearest friends (our dearest friends...)
sincerely from our hearts we wish (our hearts we wish...)
may streams of sunlight shine like rays of hope (shine like rays of hope...)
hand in hand we'll work and strive 
for the best things in life (for the best things in life...)"
*HuGs* ^-^

today office vewi quiet.. except for a collegue playing Norah Jones in the front and the lady on mi left that talks realli loudly when shes on the phone...

i remembered when i was once very sad in secondary school, i ended keeping miself occupied wif school work and pple got vewi worried abt mi.. so i thot its better not to use work to numb miself anymore..
but it doesnt help that ive started work and im still doing nothing on the 5th day.. 
things juz keep comin up to drag mi deeper into the mess ive been getting out of till i finally broke down again yesterdae.. but i'm very fortunate that mi bestfren has very warm hands.. cos mine are always cold... hehee ^-^ i know i gotta be more in control of mi life.... i cant keep letting fate make fun of mi liddat.. messing up decisions i make, creating obstacles to make mi stumble each time till i lose faith and lose myself along the way....

for the first time mi and audrey met up to haf tea... heh finally found the 24hr roti prata place juz behind mi place.. >_<
im realli thankful tat at least some good came out of this whole horrible mess.. its realli a huge consolation is makes mi feel more determined to throw the past behind mi and juz move on....
i've learnt that its not easy to love someone and it takes alot of courage to tell that person but its only becos the friendship will be treasured, that he/she is important to you, that u wanna let him or her know... i felt realli disappointed to find that mi concern for a friend had turned out to become his burden... and to know that he juz shifted all the responsibility onto me.. i wanna be angry but if its already so hard to love, u can imagine how much harder it wud be to have to hate....

feng told me to write down what comes to my mind instead of bottling it all up.. 
and i've been wanting to tell a fren this.. so if he ever reads this... or if someone can tell him...
"you don't have to say what seems to be right.. sometimes juz being honest might do the job... cos realising that someone you care about lies to you will juz hurt you even deeper..."

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

taken this from the lyrics of TORN - Natalie Imbruglia

feelin a little torn apart now.. i dunno wats going on man...
everything that can go wrong is going wrong...
im alredi losing self control le...
please make it all go away.......

yay!~ i survived DaY OnE at work doing alot of endless waitin around and "resting"~~
but i muz say it was mi good fortune that Lay Na (a coursemate from NTU) was posted to the same project and we started work on the same day!~ At least we had each other to kill time with.. talkin abt all sorts of stuff from food to debit&credit cards~~ but the people at SES are realli nice and frenly.. kinda glad cos they are pple that seem to know when to enjoy their breaks and when to be realli serious abt work :D
mi project will be at DSO which is a good thing cos its much more convenient from home than SES headoffice (yio chu kang) is.. but no idea when i will go there.. >_<
well.. gonna sleep now.. 

signing out.. 11:21pm ... cheRRikO~~

today mi went for mi medical checkup cos of work...
so happy to know that im now 163cm tall! hahaa thats 2 cm taller than i thot i was.. :D and i still have PERFECT EYESIGHT! *thank goodness* i was so worried wif all that crying and late night staring at comp screen and watching vcds all day that mi eyesight wud definitely deteroriate...

been feelin very lost cos i think ive been giving miself too much pressure to take on more responsibilities at home now that mi older sis is married.. keep feeling bad that parents are still workin and worryin abt mi and mi little sis.. realli wanna take over some of their responsibilities for them... but i dunno how much i needa do before mom can finally be happy.. *sigh*

now juz vewi excited abt going to work on monday.. other than having to wake up early.. so curious what project i will be assigned to.. are there familiar pple in mi team.. who will i be lunching wif on mi first day.. will i get internet access?? hehee~ oooooh so excited! i dun even remember being so excited on the first days of mi other jobs.. :P

2:00pm - finally signed mi appointment letter yesterdae.. been feeling so weird.. kinda like floating around half employed and half jobless cos nothing was confirmed... well.. i've finalli decreased SG's unemployed population by 1.. :D (unemployed refers to those actively lookin for a job but do not have one)

4:00pm - met up wif wenxin at wisma and finally had "lunch" at Yoshinoya (taka) using mi student card :P *shhh*

5:30pm - met up wif phyllis as well.. 3 of us were walkin around the food fest at taka square.. finally got too tempted by the food and ended up at coffee club for WeDgEs and MuDDy MuD PiE! :D~

7:00pm - the 3 of us walked from orchard to city hall hoping to quickly digest our food (esp'ly mi.. :P ) finally met ziyi at 7:15pm at NOOCH and had DINNER! mi had a Nonya Nooch (which was curry chicken wif rice and a nice nice fried egg which ziyi kept threatening to steal, and a Vision smth drink O_O ) feng & david came by like 7:45pm and foolee reached a short while after.. ^-^ 

8:30pm - 7 of us made our way to Pacific Coffee opp Marina Square and mi and wen shared a Non-Fat StrawBeRRy yOgUrT.. :P~ hehee finally to end wif smth sounding healthy :D siewpei finally turned up wif ken at abt 9+ and we all sat there to chat abt crappy stuff.. 

10:00pm - headed for home wif phyllis and foolee.. was a great bumming day for mi since it wud prob'ly be the last before i start work on monday.. :(

well before i forget... i went wif minmin and diana to Great World City on tues (13/7) and caught ! nice leh!~ hehee decided that i wanted to watch '13 Going on 30' as well after that..! so much of teenage girlie movies.. kinda miss those days ne!~..  >_<"

it seems like its been very very super long since exams ended...
mi gave xiaofeng a long update of wats been happening in mi life today.. which took about 2 hrs.... but its so weird that everything felt like it happened a long long time ago.. but its actualli within 2 mths that i've experienced more than i wanted to.. 
this monday was sce convocation... was realli happy and excited to meet up wif so many school mates again.. since this will prob be the last time le.. :~( was so frantically taking picts with everyone before they disappeared to take pics wif other friends.. hehee~ marks the end of 18 yrs of school life for mi.. *wipe sweat*






Convocation Photos ^-^

and next monday i move onto the adult stage of mi life.. WORK.. >_<"
**wish mi luck**~~

mi and minmin juz started learning korean.. went to her place last nite and we were trying to memorize more of those complicated korean alphabets and how to read them.. :P well one very useful phrase: 'yeobosaeyo'("your boss say yo!") meaning 'hello' for a phone conversation.. 

hehee.. enuff liao.. always end up having to update a whole lot.. muz try to make this more regular or im bound to forget things.. :P

hmm havent updated mi journal in a while...
decided to delete that song i wrote cos i can't think up a tune for it..
and mabbe cos i dun realli want that song anymore..
everytime i meet a problem i usually make miself face it to overcome it.. but i nvr knew that i wud ever haf a problem so difficult to overcome that i have to run away from it.. its not a very mature way of handling it.. but this time round i feel i juz have to choose the easier way out.. pretend everything was a nightmare and soon it will be over...
life goes on... its a long journey and i was stuck in a dark dark tunnel for a while.. now i'm finally seeing the light at the end of it juz don't know how long im gonna take to get there..

went over to min's place on wednesday for dinner and to watch Brotherhood wif 2 korean friends Peter (who is one of min's housemates) and Dong Cheoul (Peter's friend). Real cool cos they are really friendly people!~ Lookin forward to hanging out again some time ^-^ Singwen dropped by also cos she was in the vicinity.. hehee~~ too bad she missed out on min's cooking tho.. and since we stay so near we really gotta hang out again too! yay!~

gee.. finally watched the show i've been searching all over for since 4 yrs ago...
left mi this sick feeling tho.. its weird.. >_< 
so this bestfren of Jim died from leukemia... and how Jim and a bunch of frens started taking drugs and all and were juz wasting their lives away.. and how Jim being a great basketball player gave up his dream too.. He's a great writer and later after his mom turned him into the cops, he finally picked up from there.. and now hes a poet/diarist/lyricist/performer... he's a real inspiration!
watched SpiDerMan2 yesterdae.. it was great! hahaa 2 meaningful shows in a row.. yeah.. i think thats why i feel sick.. cos mi life is realli lacking meaning now.. :P
i gotta be out there doing something i realli like or something realli worth doing! 

O_o (in case anyone's still wundering.. thats how i look when i lift up one eyebrow..)
well.. so some of you shud haf realised i juz went thru the most horrible time of mi life but its finally picking up.... 
those great girly frens of mine.. i love you gals! thanx for all that patience and advices.. esp'ly that "cry when u feel like it, don't ever bottle it up and try so hard to be strong.. juz keep crying and by the time you realise, you are alredi over it"
lets juz be a little optimistic here.. i havent shed a single tear for 3 or 4 days now.. ^-^ 
even the guys that dun noe anything.. juz being there is great! i haven't laughed so much in a long long time!~

oh oh!~ and mi Korea Trip photos are up now!
Korea (23 June 04 - 27 June 04)