*~i am stronger than yesterday - britney spears~*

today office vewi quiet.. except for a collegue playing Norah Jones in the front and the lady on mi left that talks realli loudly when shes on the phone...

i remembered when i was once very sad in secondary school, i ended keeping miself occupied wif school work and pple got vewi worried abt mi.. so i thot its better not to use work to numb miself anymore..
but it doesnt help that ive started work and im still doing nothing on the 5th day.. 
things juz keep comin up to drag mi deeper into the mess ive been getting out of till i finally broke down again yesterdae.. but i'm very fortunate that mi bestfren has very warm hands.. cos mine are always cold... hehee ^-^ i know i gotta be more in control of mi life.... i cant keep letting fate make fun of mi liddat.. messing up decisions i make, creating obstacles to make mi stumble each time till i lose faith and lose myself along the way....

for the first time mi and audrey met up to haf tea... heh finally found the 24hr roti prata place juz behind mi place.. >_<
im realli thankful tat at least some good came out of this whole horrible mess.. its realli a huge consolation is makes mi feel more determined to throw the past behind mi and juz move on....
i've learnt that its not easy to love someone and it takes alot of courage to tell that person but its only becos the friendship will be treasured, that he/she is important to you, that u wanna let him or her know... i felt realli disappointed to find that mi concern for a friend had turned out to become his burden... and to know that he juz shifted all the responsibility onto me.. i wanna be angry but if its already so hard to love, u can imagine how much harder it wud be to have to hate....

feng told me to write down what comes to my mind instead of bottling it all up.. 
and i've been wanting to tell a fren this.. so if he ever reads this... or if someone can tell him...
"you don't have to say what seems to be right.. sometimes juz being honest might do the job... cos realising that someone you care about lies to you will juz hurt you even deeper..."